


Conversations with the Best Man

by imsfire



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: AU Fix-it, F/M, Gen, Jyn is talked about but isn't present, K2 is being a sarky tin can, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Wedding Nerves, just because he can, until the very last minute anyway, wedding theme
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-14
Updated: 2017-03-14
Packaged: 2018-10-04 16:11:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10282841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imsfire/pseuds/imsfire
Summary: "By any rational criteria I have been very supportive."Snatches of conversation on the morning of a wedding, in a galaxy far, far away...





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [NewLeeland](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NewLeeland/gifts).



> For NewLeeland, who egged me on.

-Your heart rate is elevated, Cassian, and I detect unusually high levels of adrenaline and cortisol in your bloodstream..  Also it may be useful for you to know that the gel-like substance you have combed into your hair this morning contains minute quantities of the compound crinobal, a known carcinogen.

-Thank you, Kay.

-Are you going to remove the gel-like substance?

-No, I am not.

-Do you require assistance to do so?

-I’m fine, Kay.

-You do not appear fine.  You are jittery and your continual fidgeting implies that your clothing is constricting and uncomfortable.

-I said I’m fine.  What time is it now?

-Only three minutes and 26 seconds have elapsed since you last asked me that question.

-Kay!  The time, please!

-It is 11 minutes and 17 seconds after eighth hour.  There is at present a 3% chance of being late.

-Don’t say things like that -that’s the last thing I want to think about!

\- I am being reassuring.  You appear to be in need of it.  Another 53 minutes and 35 seconds will need to elapse before the likelihood of being late for your own wedding rises past 10%.  Are you sure you do not require assistance to remove the carcinogen from your hair now?

-Just forget about the hair gel, Kay.  Please.

**

-Do you still have the rings on you?

-Did you see me discard them?

- ** _Discard_** _them_? – Kay, what the _hell_?

-I don’t know why you’re shouting at me, Cassian.  I am attempting to lighten the mood with humour.  The rings remain in the same thoracic storage  slot where you saw me place them yesterday.  You may see them now if you wish.  Do you wish to see them?

-Yes, please…

-Here they are.  You will observe that they are undamaged and in good order.  Do you wish me to continue to store them on my person or would it be calming to you to carry them yourself from now on?

-Please, you keep them.

-You know that I am not going to mislay them.  I _am_ aware of the symbolic importance of their presence in this ceremony.

-I wish you were as aware of your own.  You’re supposed to be supporting me.

-I thought I was attempting to do so.  I have kept your rings safe.  I have reminded you of the passage of time at an average interval of four minutes eight seconds between enquiries.  I have offered to help you remove the carcinogenic substance from your person and I have refrained from reminding you that your marriage to Jyn Erso has at best a 79.7% chance of success.  By any rational criteria I have been very supportive.

-Yes, Kay, you have.  I’m sure I couldn’t have coped without you.

-Your tone of voice is sarcastic.  I’m sure I won’t bother with this job if you decide to get married again ever.

**

-Is she here yet?

-No.

-I heard the doors again – is that her?

-No, it was Captain Solo and Senator Organa.  You are fidgeting again, Cassian.  Would you like me to call on Bodhi Rook to support you now?

-Sweet life, no! – he’s even jumpier than me!

-Then I suggest you inhale and exhale in a slow and measured manner, and continue to wait.  This will all be over soon.  And stop trying to peek.  An illogical and completely incorrect tradition dictates that you will incur bad luck if you look at Jyn Erso when she arrives for the ceremony.

-Why, did she arrive yet?  Was that the door I heard?

-Yes.

-And?

-It’s her.

- _And_?

-Jyn is dressed in a highly unusual manner.

- _What_? – What do you mean - is she okay?

-She appears to be in excellent health. 

-Oh, thank Force…

-And she is looking – beautiful. 

(Joyful march music plays)

-79.7% is very good odds, you know.  Good luck, Cassian. 


End file.
